Candy Man Can

I have something I need to admit to the world. I am addicted to candy. When I was a little boy I had a reputation to be able to "smell out" any candy in any room or house that I was in. No matter where the candy was located I could find it. It was kind of like a Willy Wonka Sixth Sense. But without all of the dead people. I carried that reputation for many years and to this day I still have those secret powers. One thing you need to know about the Hintze family is that we are obsessed with candy. My Grandpa Hintze was famous for having boxes of Sees Candies in his desk and handing them out to people that visited his office at BYU. My uncle kept his stash in large drawers that were built in to his water bed. And my Dad constantly had a mountain of Peanut Clusters and Chocolate Raisins by his side. I know what you are thinking, "THAT IS AWESOME!" Yeah I was thinking the same thing. So coming from candy royalty I have quite the task ahead of me to keep the traditions alive.

I use seasonal candy as my calendar. I know that when I see those Chocolate Oranges in Harmon's Christmas is right around the corner. Or when the Cadbury Mini Eggs hit the shelves its time for Easter.  I have prepared a pictorum below. (By the way I just made that word up. It is currently underlined in red because it aint real.)

Valentines Day

Easter

Fathers Day

This is a bit of a stretch because I eat these year round.

Halloween

Christmas

Yes I took this picture. I call it "The Unravelling" It's deep trust me. 

These are just a few examples. I know by now you are searching your house for any piece of chocolate you can find. You probably cant find any and so you have gone to your last resort AKA Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips. I have been there before. It's not pretty but they will get the job done until you can get to the store to restock. 

Anyway back to the matter at hand. Do you want to know my two favorite movies growing up? Willy Wonka and Heavyweights. Below is a scene from Heavyweights where all of the campers, well just watch.  This may be the best piece of cinema ever made. 

The point of all of this is that I have made a promise to myself (much to my wife's dismay) and humanity that I will keep my cupboards stocked with the good stuff. No matter the cost to my wallet or my waist line. So if you are ever in the mood for something sweet you know where to find me. And if all that wasn't enough for you there is also that whole Pez thing.