All Is Fair, You Know The Rest

I met my wife at Snow College my freshman year right out of High School. She loved me at first sight, she just didn't want to admit it to herself. She was friends with one of my roommates and I knew right when I saw her that I wanted to marry her. Ok, enough of the lovey-dovey let's get down to business. One night my roommates and I were sitting around our living room playing X-Box eating our Top Ramen and we got to talking about our kitchen chairs. Over the past few days our chairs seemed to be disappearing. (I'll be honest they could have been disappearing over a longer period of time but we were college kids and we were lucky to have chairs at all) We finally realized that some of our chairs were in fact missing. There were quite a few groups of girls that would frequent our apartment from time to time. (Ladies Men) So the possibilities of which group of girls was pretty much endless. Yes you are reading correctly, we immediately decided that it had to be girls trying to prank us. It is just in their nature.

Upon finding out the news we started to interrogate different girls. Basically our leads were running dry. We were like a bald man in a wig shop. Plenty of options but none of them looked quite right. (You can use that - I give you permission.) I had been dating my wife at this point for a few months and of course I didn't suspect her because she was an angel. (I was blinded by her beauty)

One day we were sitting around our apartment up to no good as usual when we got a knock at the door. Upon opening the door we found a ransom letter. The letter stated that we could have our chairs back if we dropped off a carton of ice-cream at a specified location. The location happened to be right behind my wife's apartment. Remember that fact for later. My roommates upon reading this letter of course were enraged. We were not going to be bested by anyone. Let alone a bunch of girls. (channeling my inner Heman Woman Haters) So what did we do? The obvious thing, setup surveillance on the drop location. Hire other students to go undercover for us at the drop location and wait.

Like I said before it just so happened that my wife's apartment had a perfect vantage point right over the drop point. We had a perfect view of the location and because my wife was so in love with me she was more than happy to let us use her apartment for surveillance purposes. The plan was to have 2 of my roommates drop off the ice cream and have the other roommates watch from afar. As soon as the pickup was made we were going to move in and bust the perp. The drop location was in an alley so we had a car on each side of the alley ready to block if the perp showed up in a car. The scene was set for the perfect bust. Now it was just a waiting game. The drop location was right behind the college's recreation center so there were people coming in and out quite often. We would watch intensely as each person came and went.

After a while there appeared a young boy and girl in swim wear. They looked like they had just been swimming in the pool and we didn't think much of them. Basically, we were stereotyping which was not a good idea. These two young kids came out of the building and started looking around. After a short time a car pulled up that appeared to be their parents. The little girl walked over to get in the car and then quickly turned back to the ice cream, grabbed it, and jumped in the car. At this point in time i literally felt like I was in a Bourne Movie. This little girl was a spy. She had fooled us all and we were not prepared. As soon as we got our wits about us the chase ensued. We didn't really want to chase the car because we had no idea who these people were at all. But being the young, dumb college kids we were we chased them anyway. We followed them through almost the entire small town of Ephraim. In the end they ditched us down some back road. I don't think I have ever been so confused in my entire life.

A few days went by after this incident with no word. We felt like our chairs and the ice cream was gone for good, taken by some wanderer. Then the grapevine started talking. We heard whisperings around campus that a group of girls that we knew very well had pulled off the prank. I knew the group extremely well. It was my wife and her pleasant roommates. Yes the apartment we were doing surveillance from was indeed the place where the whole stunt had been concocted. And to top it all off our chairs were sitting at the table of that very apartment the entire time.

It has been 9 years since this incident took place and I am still not allowed to discuss how my roommates and I got our revenge. It was mean, it was messy, it was immature, but most of all it was stupid. It did not at all match the level of intelligence that their prank held.( Added by Stephanie- Zach's beautiful, smart, talented, and queen of all pranks, wife.) But lets just say bags of flour are hard to clean up.